>Affection>Change>Apathy>Oblivion>
The phases I’ve been going through:
Affection – probably the loveliest one, the phase when everything about you makes my heart stop…this is the very phase when things can go wrong
IT’S OVER
Change – the moment when things just change…either in a possitive way, when you bypass some following phases, or in a negative way, when you need to get through them…It’s the moment from which you can look back or look ahead
IT’S OVER
Apathy - a relaxing phase…you only take things as they come, you don’t mind anything, don’t plan anything…You feel like giving up and you cannot remember why you held on for so long
IT’S OVER
Oblivion – the longest one…the hardest one…the phase I am in now…I think that I will consider it to be officially over when it comes time for me to move on
???
…
It’s over …
I would love to say I’m fine … but it hurts … everywhere
What am I gonna do when I wake up? … I have no clue …
What am I gonna do until my feelings are gone? … I have no clue either …
But you know what … I’m glad that I tried … and if the things I’ve done are not enough … then maybe, I’m not enough
I did what I needed to do … things in me remain the same … that’s all
btw. life has a great sense of irony … during the last two days was this site visited the most
Pre Mon / For the one this all is about
Ahoj Mon … ked citas tieto riadky, dufam, ze mas uz vsetko ostatne precitane. Myslim, ze tak by to bolo asi najlepsie …
Neviem sice co si chcela najst na tomto blogu, ked si ma poziadala o link, ale dufam, ze si to nasla …
Mohla si si tu precitat rozne veci – ci uz to bol moj “DENNIK”, ktory som zdaleka nepisal kazdy den a v ktorom sa ti moze zdat, ze sa tesim zo samych malickosti … A uprimne som zvedavy, ci si budes aspon niektore z tych situacii pamatat … lebo vec, ktorej sa bojim je ta, ze si nebudes pamatat ani polovicu veci, na ktore ja nikdy nezabudnem …
BASNE, ktore sa ti mozno zase zdaju hlupe, ale ver, ze su myslene uprimne – je to len moj sposob ako povedat urcite veci inak …
a CITATY vystihujuce moje pocity v danu chvilu … take vety, ktore sa mi zdalo zbytocne prerozpravat, ked uz raz boli pekne povedane 
Po pravde neviem ako by som mal zacat pisat to, co chcem … sedim tu v nejakej kaviarnicke, krasne spravenej, ktora by sa ti mimochodom asi pacila. Spolocnost mi tu robi pohar mojita, blok, ktory som najprv otvoril na FEKOL stranke , moje myslienky, city a spomienky …
Vsetko mi tu dotvara Chasing cars od Snow Patrol a ja dufam, ze mam vsetko potrebne na to, aby som toto zvladol …
Nechcem sa spravat, ze som nepochopil “kompromis, ktory medzi name funguje”, alebo nas posledny rozhovor a neviem, ci vobec toto, co robim je spravne a ci tento sposob je na to vhodny … aj ked dufam, ze to podstatne co som chcel som ti povedal pri tom, ako som ti daval link …
Ked si vravela nech netaram, ze ten decembrovy piatok mal byt pre mna mala si z casti pravdu … Tie veci, kvoli ktorym som setril, mali byt vsetky pre teba, avsak ten rozhovor, ci skor moj monolog mi mal pomoct vycistit si trocha mysel … Vycistit tym, ze ti poviem veci, ktore som mal uz davno …
A chcel som to urobit nazivo … ale zas nie len tak … zasluzis si viac … tak preto ten vecer …
V podstate ma vsak tento sposob par vyhod … dozvies sa zrejme ovela viac ako keby som ti to mal hovorit a dozvies sa to bez koktania … aj ked nevidim tvoje reakcie …
Ako vidis, je viac veci, ktore neviem … ale jednou vecou som si uplne isty …
Mon … lubim ta
Myslim, ze som to doteraz nezvladol povedat priamo, aj ked mi na tebe zalezi tak velmi, ze niekedy niesom schopny uverit tomu, ze mozem citit cosi takeho …
Vies, ako sa veci maju … ale chcel som ti to povedat aj takto … snad mi uz uveris, ze to myslim uprimne … aj ked viem, ze teraz je uz zrejme neskoro to dokazovat …
Mon … tak velmi ti tuzim len tak hocikedy zavolat a povedat ti ako mi chybas a ako mi na tebe zalezi … dat ti bozk na dobru noc, po ktorom by si mozno vydrzala spinkat aspon do 11 alebo ti len tak kupit kvietok do vlasov – len pre radost a bez toho, aby to niekomu prekazalo
Vo svojom zivote som urobil vela chyb, ale najviac lutujem moju neschopnost spravneho vyberu vo chvili, ked islo o vela …
Ako som len mohol opustit nieco na com mi tak zalezalo a co som zboznoval?
Bezal som s diamantami v rukach … a spadol som …
Navyse sa nenavidim za kazdu jednu slzu, ktoru si pre mna vyplakala … tvoje oci niesu na take veci urcene … Slubujem ti, ze urobim vsetko, aby sa to nemuselo zopakovat . Ved tvoje oci su najkrajsie ked su velke, modre a vysmiate … zasluzia si byt stastne
Chybas mi Mon … a zdaleka nie len tie veci v mojej nedokoncenej basni … chybas mi cela … so vsetkymi tvojimi kvalitami aj chybami a chybas mi stale … nie len v urcitych situaciach …
Viem, ze tvrdime, ze sme priatelia … ale co je to za priatelstvo? … z pohladu toho klasickeho si jednoznacne moj najlepsi priatel … osoba, ktorej velmi doverujem, o ktorej viem, ze ma vypocuje, pomoze … Ale to nase priatelstvo je akesi … ja neviem ako by som to mal nazvat – Ja sa niekedy nespravam len ako bezny priatel a ty ma zas niekedy “varujes”, ze ak nieco urobis tak to nemam brat vazne …
Akoze ono je to vsetko v pohode … z tohto vedu nerobim … iba by som chcel aby si vedela, ze niekedy … niekedy, ked sa tvarim stastny a usmievam sa … tak to tak nieje … je to vsak lahsie ako ti vysvetlovat preco.
Mozno to, co sme v minulosti urobili, bola velka chyba … ale je to vec, ktoru som este nikdy neolutoval … Ak to aj bola chyba, tak je to jedna z tych, ktore by som si rad zopakoval …
Neviem sice co to pre teba znamenalo … ale poviem ti … pre mna to znamenalo velmi vela … ty si pre mna znamenala vela a stale znamenas …
Bolo to krasne … a mam s tymto obdobim spojenych mnoho spomienok, pocitov … a take asociacie co mi nedovolia tak lahko zabudnut … asi sa ti to bude zdat divne, ale snad po celkom meste su miesta, ktore mi vyvolavaju spomienky s tebou spojene … Ci uz je to cely tvoj byt … okno v kuchyni v mojom byte, pred ktorym ta vidim stat v noci ked idem do kuchyne presne ako vtedy, ked si u nas spala alebo upravovat sa pred zrkadlom v chodbe ako predpredposledny krat ked si u mna bola … alebo cesta dolu ulicou smerom do mesta, ked je von chladno a tma … ta mi vyvolava pocity, ako ked som chodil za tebou … a nech bol den akykolvek, mal som v tuto chvilu uz dobru naladu
Niekedy mam pocit, ze cely svet mi brani v tom, aby som na teba mohol zabudnut …
Ten citat od Williama Butlera Yeatsa je sice krasny … ale ja by som ho prerozpraval inak
Keby som mal nebom utkané látky
Ovinuté zlatým a strieborným svetlom
Modré, tmavé a temné látky
Noci, svetla a šera
Rozprestrel by som ich pod tvoje nohy
Ale ja chudobný mám len svoje srdce
Položil som svoje srdce k tvojim nohám
Prosím, našlapuj opatrne …
Je fakt, ze sa v tebe niekedy nevyznam, ale nevadi mi to … si uzasna osoba, osobnost …
A ja ti nemusim kupovat veci alebo cokolvek pre teba robit ak ta to dostava do neprijemnej situacie … len chcem, aby si vedela, ze ta lubim … a tuzim po tom, aby si bola stastna … a chcem aby si vedela aj to, ze ma mas uplne celeho … moje telo bolo tvoje uz davno … moju mysel si si ziskala a moje srdce som ti dal …
Mon … velmi tuzim po nejakych istotach … Ale ci si mi schopna ich dat alebo nie, ci budu pozitivne alebo nie … asi nic to nezmeni na fakte, ze ak ma niekedy budes chciet … som tvoj … budem pri tebe stat, milovat a podoporovat ta … a budem cakat tak dlho, ako budes potrebovat
Potrebujem aby si si aspon pamatala, ze toto plati, az do chvile, kym ti nepoviem, ze uz je vsetko prec … a plati to aj napriek tomu, ze odteraz uz svoje city spomeniem iba ak o to budes stat ….
Ja som uz raz dostal moznost vyberu a pokazil som to, lebo som sa bal … dufam, ze aspon ty sa rozhodnes spravne …
Len mi prosim este odpovedz na jednu otazku … Citila si niekedy ku mne niekedy nieco viac ako len priatelstvo?
…
The post you can see above is for the girl this all is about …
She’s about to visit this blog … I’m sorry that it’s only in Slovak but later I will translate it
At least chitien and other regular visitors may appreciate it
Thinking …
There are two girls …
one promissed me her lifelong friendship … and I rejected…
another one wanted to give me her love … and I refused this offer …
I am …
a, stupid
b, sincere
c, a dreamer
d, in love with the first one
What do you think? … I’d say that all of them describe me right now …
TRANSLATION>>>
Su dve dievcata
jedna mi slubi jej dozivotne priatelstvo … a ja to odmietam
druha mi chce dat svoju lasku … a jej ponuku tiez odmietnem
Som …
a, hlupy
b, uprimny
c, rojko
d, zamilovany do tej prvej
Co myslite? … povedal by som, ze z kazdeho trochu
Diary entry Oct 19 2007
This day was really fucked … I had to pay a fine … I had money I wanted to spend with HER on a “perfect evening” … or it could be named “one last appeal” or “the end”… I don’t know … but the point is that I was still saving up money for this evening … and now I’m broke …
That’s all …
Current amount of money I need: 82%
Things I miss
This poem is still incomplete … but I’m gonna post here all I have … Probably I will change something in it later … When I write something new I will edit this post
Things I miss (incomplete)
Except from all the things I have and need
There’s a whole lot more I want
Maybe you could call this greed
But without them I feel so gaunt
…
I miss your kisses
The moments of finding my lost paradise
When the whole world just make coulisses
And everything seems to look so nice
I miss your smile
Which makes my day worthwile
This smile seen on your lips
Fondles my body in bliss
I miss the hours we spent together
When it was so cold and dark outside
But we didn’t mind the weather
Because we had a place for us to hide
I miss our neverending phone calls
Although we were only 15 mins away
Between us there were buildings’ stone walls
And at last the phone bill we felt OK to pay
I miss the way you used to say my name
Whenever I was at house of yours
And I’m afraid that it will never be the same
And I will never hear the fire in your sweet voice
…but most of all I miss you
Forming your name of wooden toothpicks
Looking at you through the glass of wine
I’d rather swim through the river Styx
Than not to see you being mine
TRANSLATION>>>
Veci co mi chybaju
Okrem veci ktore mam a potrebujem
Je ovela viac ktore chcem
Mozno to nazyvas nenasytnost
Ale bez nich sa citim taky prazdny
Chybaju mi tvoje bozky
Chvile ked som nasiel svoj strateny raj
Ked cely svet robi len kulisy
A vsetko sa zda by take pekne
Chyba mi tvoj usmev
Kvoli ktoremu mi den stoji za to
Usmev na tvojich perach
Ma neskutocne tesi
Chybaju mi hodiny co sme stravili spolu
Ked vonku bolo chladno a tma
Ale neriesili sme pocasie
Lebo sme mali miesto kde sa schovat
Chybaju mi nase nekonciace telefonaty
Aj ked sme boli vzdialeni len 15 minut
Medzi nami boli len steny budov
A telefonny ucet, ktory sme radi zaplatili
Chyba mi sposob akym si hovorievala moje meno
Vzdy ked som bol u teba
A bojim sa, ze to uz nikdy nebude take iste
A uz nikdy nebudem pocut ten ohen v tvojom sladkom hlase
…ale najviac zo vsetkeho mi chybas ty
Vytvarat tvoje meno zo sparatok
Pozerat sa na teba cez pohar vina
Radsej by som preplaval cez rieku Styx
Ako by si nikdy nemala byt moja
Diary entry Oct 05 2007
I had a great time with HER again … A few of our friends met at a tea room yesterday and it was completely refreshing evening … I feel pretty relaxed now 
… HER presence makes me feel great … SHE’s like the sun … when both are gone, it’s cold and dark outside …
For a few minutes we were lying there like … >< this close … I felt happy … I mean really happy …
You know it … the moment when you’re not sure what to do and what not to do … I wanted to kiss her so much … but all in all I’m glad I didn’t do it …it would only complicated thigs … I didn’t want to end that moment … I wished it had never ended … and I hope that one day it wouldn’t have to …
TRANSLATION>>>
Zase mi bolo s nou skvelo … Priatelia sme sa stretli v cajovni a bolo to super … citim sa dost oddychnuty … JEJ pritomnost mi robi strasnu radost … je ako slnko … ked su obe veci prec … je chladno a tma …
Chvilu sme tam len tak lezali … >< takto blizko … bol som skutocne stastny …
Bola to jedna z tych chvil, ked si clovek nieje isty, co urobit a co nie … tak velmi som JU chcel pobozkat … ale konieckoncov som rad, ze som to radsej neurobil … nechcel som aby ta chvila skoncila … a dufam, ze raz nebude musiet …
BLUE – Breathe Easy
You surely know this song … I have played it recently … after a very long time … and it was like … description of my situation …
it’s really suprised me …
For those who don’t know what I’m talkin ’bout here’s a part of lyric :
Cruel to the eye
I see the way he makes you smile
Cruel to the eye
Watching him hold what used to be mineWhy did I lie?
What did I walk away to findCurse me inside
For every word that caused you to cry
I won’t forget, no Iwon’t baby,
I don’t know why
I left the one i was looking to findOut of my mind
Nothing makes sense anymore
I want you back in my life
That’s all I’m breathing forI can’t dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There’s no air…
Diary entry Sep 24 2007
Good night
It’s been a long time since I contributed to my diary … I know … It was caused by the lack of things to write about and moreover the situation with HER I was at was … sort of heartbreaking … I didn’t talk to HER for longer than a few words for almost a month … it was very difficult for me …
But today … things changed … luckily … I spent the whole afternoon with HER lying under the slope of a nearby mountain … The original plan was to study … but we didn’t study for so long … we talked … and it was great … I could really get used to days like this
TRANSLATION>>>
Uz je to dost dlho co som naposledy pisal do dennika … viem … bolo to sposobene nedostatkom veci o ktorych by som pisal … a situacia s NOU … bola srdcervuca … skoro mesiac som sa s nou poriadne nerozpraval … bolo to dost tazke …
Ale dnes sa veci nastastie zmenili … stravil som s nou cele popoludie pod kopcom na deke … Chceli sme sa ucit SJ … ale dlho to netrvalo … konecne sme sa rozpravali … a bolo to skvele ….
Vedel by som si zvyknut na dni ako bol tento
New poem
My new poem is on the way … but it’s a bit long so it will take me some time to finish it
Sleeping
Sleeping
Oh God you’re so beautiful when you sleep
These pictures in my mind I really wanna keep
The photo of this moment would win any prize
Even though it couldn’t be so easily categorized
Should it be seen among the photos of landscape, nature or art?
Because it has from any of these things at least a small part
Your body’s like a painting of a sunset over the mountain covered in flowers
A picture the watching of which you could spend hours
Your chest moving up and down in the rythm of your breathing
Your beautifil hair covering your face
Even your fingers moving in some pace
This all takes my breath away
And causes a huge disarray
You’re angelicly calm and unearthly beautiful
These things are floating in my mind
And sometimes it’s hard to find
The words to describe it as lovely as you deserve
’cause I am barely breathing
Whenever I see you sleep
And now I’m glad that this poem’s over
So I can do the thing I need …
Breathe
TRANSLATION>>>
Spanok
Boze si taka krasna ked spis
Tuto predstavu si chcem na vzdy uchovat
Fotka tejto chvile by vyhrala akukolvek cenu
Hoci by nemohla byt tak lahko zaradena
Mala by byt ulozena medzi fotkami krajiny, prirody alebo umenia?
Lebo ma z kazdeho aspon maly kusok
Tvoje telo je ako malba zapadu slnka nad horou posiatou kvetmi
Obraz na ktory sa mozes pozerat hodiny
Tvoj hrudnik sa hybe v rytme tvojho dychu
Tvoje krasne vlasy ti zakryvaju tvar
Dokonca aj tvoje prsty sa obcas hybu v nejakom tempe
Toto vsetko mi vyraza dych
A sposobuje vo mne hrozny zmatok
Si anjelsky kludna a nadpozemsky krasna
Tieto slova mi poletuju v mysli
A niekedy je tazke najst
Slova aby som to opisal tak pekne ako si zasluzis
Pretoze sotva dycham
Hocikedy ked ta vidim spat
A teraz som rad, ze som toto uz dopisal
Pretoze mozem robit vec, ktoru potrebujem
Dychat
Quote No. 12
I heard this whilie listening to Incubus
“There’s something about the look in your eyes. Something I noticed when the light was just right. It reminded me twice that I was alive and it reminded me that you’re so worth the fight…”
TRANSLATION>>>
Zapocul som to, ked som pocuval Incubus
“Nieco je v tvojich ociach. Nieco co som si vsimol ked bolo spravne svetlo. Dva krat mi to pripomenulo ze zijem a pripomenulo mi to, ze mi tak velmi stojis za tento boj”
Diary entry Aug 28 2007
Thank God for my friend … She helped me a lot today … I needed to talk and she was there to listen … My mood is much better … Thx “M”
Diary entry Aug 27 2007
HER boyfriend is back … => I felt miserable … I thought that it would be easier … it wasn’t
Quote No. 11
“I, being, poor, have only my dreams
I have spread my dreams under your feet
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams”
William Butler Yeats
TRANSLATION>>>
“A ja chudobny mam len svoje sny
Rozprestrel som svoje sny pod tvoje nohy
Naslapuj opatrne lebo sliapes po mojich snoch”
Diary entry August 22-23 2007
Good night
One night in a cottage … should be great, huh? … yeah it was
I was there with HER and three friends more (3 girls ) … they fell asleep quite early and me and HER just continued having fun We played “pexeso” and talked a lot … I told HER ’bout the girl from my previous diary entry … SHE was like “Uff” but I’m glad that I told HER ’bout that girl …
We were sleeping on just one bed and SHE was so cute … I told HER something … SHE replied … I told something else … SHE had alreday been sleeping 
… Moreover SHE snored a bit … It wasn’t sort of an annoying snoring … it was only cute smile-making kind of snoring that makes you think about whether you wanna sleep or look at HER … I chose the second way of spending that night … and I just had to smile all the time … I wasn’t even tired … you know alcohol gives you a lot of energy …
It was a great night … absolutely …
TRANSLATION>>>
Vecer na chate … mal by byt skvely nie? … ano aj bol
Bol som tam s NOU a troma dalsimi … ony sli dost skoro spat a my sme blbli dalej … Rozpravali sa, hrali pexeso … a nakoniec som jej povedal o babach z Letav … bola zaskocena … ale som rad, ze som jej to povedal
Spali sme dole na jednej posteli a bola taka zlata … nieco som jej povedal … odpovedala … povedal som nieco dalsie … a uz spinkala … Navyse trosku chrapala … nebolo to vsak strasne, otravne a hlasne chrapanie … ale iba take mile chrapkanie, ktore cloveka donuti rozmyslat o tom ci chce radsej spat, alebo sa na dotycneho pozerat … vybral som si prevazne tu druhu moznost … a cely cas som sa musel usmievat … ani som nebol unaveny … zrejme kvoli tomu alkoholu co sme popili
Bola to skvela noc
Apology
This is the thing I was telling you about in my last diary entry …
Apology
I feel sorry for the way I behaved
It was only caused by my bad mood
I hope that you’ll forgive me
When you find out why the things weren’t good
I told you that you were the problem
But it’s not true …
The fact is that there’s a feeling
I would love you to feel too
Maybe it’s something I should repel
’cause whenever I see you it hurts like hell …
But how could you forget about an unwinged angel
That can be seen not only in your dreams
Who is real like the pen I’m holding
And my heart screams …
… so loud that I cannot resent it
And I only continue my longing
Now I’ll try to get to the point of this poem
That perhaps should better remain unsaid
But as I’ve sweard you my sincerity
I gotta do this even though it could be bad
The truth is that while you were out
I … depressed a bit and thinking about your rundown cheer
Was trying to capture the way I felt
Rather than going out and having a beer
And then all of sudden
I sipmly fell asleep
Then I had sort of a rare dream for me
This dream seemed to be so real
Even I could say that was too real for a dream to be
One of the dreams you never wanna end
Yet they do … and then is the real word you see
You’re waking up with a boom of thoughts in your head
And most of them are nothing better … than bad
Oh God … I wanna return things to the state as they used to be
Change some and add much more
Stop the war in me
And then maybe … I would write happy poetry
TRANSLATION>>>
Ospravedlnenie
Je mi luto ako som sa spraval
Bolo to sposobene hlavne mojou zlou naladou
Dufam ze mi odpustis
Ked zistis preco mi nebolo dobre
Povedal som TI ze na vine si Ty
Ale nieje to pravda
Je to v tom, ze citim nieco
Co by som strasne chcel aby si citila tiez
Mozno je to nieco co by som mal potlacat
Kedze zakazdym ked ta vidim je to tazke
Ale ako zabudnes na anjela bez kridel
Ktoreho nevidis len vo svojich snoch
Ale je skutocny ako pero co drzim
A moje srdce krici …
Tak hlasno, ze to nemozem nevnimat
A tak iba pokracujem v mojej tuzbe
Teraz sa skusim dostat k podstate
Ktora by mozno mala ostat zamlcana
Ale kedze som ti slubil moju uprimnost
Musim to urobit aj ked to moze dopadnut zle
Pravda je, ze kym si bola von
Ja … trochu deprimovany a rozmyslajuci o tvojej skleslej nalade
Som sa pokusal zachytit ako som sa citil
Radsej ako ist von na pivo
A potom zrazu
Som jednoducho zaspal
Mal som dost zriedkavy sen
Zdal sa byt tak skutocny
Bol to jeden zo snov, ktore nechces aby nikdy skoncili
A predsa skoncia … a potom sa prebudzas do skutocneho sveta
Zobudzas sa s bordelom myslienok v hlave
A vacsina z nich su zle
Boze … chcem vratit veci tak ako boli
Nieco zmenit a vela pridat
Skoncit tu vojnu vo mne
A mozno potom … budem pisat aj veselu poeziu
Diary entry Aug 12-19 2007
Good night
As you may have noticed I wasn’t here for some time … I was with HER and 2 other friends in a cottage … it was sort of a camp … We had a lot of fun and this trip was great … almost perfect …
SHE was like … keeping distance … or something like that … I don’t know
In addition I had so real dream … I was trying to write something new and while doing so I fell asleep … I don’t wanna write to much about this … you will read about it in the poem I wrote the following day …
The last two nights were … ehm … strange and unused …
Two girls tried to ball me … it would be great if I could take advantage of this situation … The thing with the first one was quite easy for me … I only bought her a drink and let her go … The second matter was more difficult … she was quite nice … moreover she was funny and kind … she called me to go with her to the nearby meadow … to look at the stars … I went … after a while I was laying above her … but I couldn’t even kiss her 
… I still had to think about HER … maybe she maybe ok but she wasn’t HER … now I regret it a bit … maybe I should have suppressed myself …
Nevertheless it was great … we had enough to eat & drink and I returned completely relaxed …
TRANSLATION>>>
Ako ste si asi vsimli nebol som tu nejaky cas … bol som s NOU a 2 dalismi priatelmi na Letavach … bolo to skvele … takmer dokonale …
Aj ked mi pripadala, ze si niekedy udrzovala odstup … alebo cosi podobne … neviem … mozno sa mi to len tak javilo
Navyse som ma taky realny sen … Snazil som sa nieco nove napisat a pocas toho som zaspal … ale nechcem sa tu moc o tom teraz rozkecavat … precitate si to v basni co som na druhy den napisal
Posledne 2 noci boli take …divne a nevyuzite
Snazili sa ma zbalit 2 holky … bolo by to ok keby som vyuzil tuto situaciu … Prvu som zrusil lahko … kupil som jej drink a rozlucil sa … S druhou to bolo tazsie … bola celkom fajn … mila … siel som s nou na luku …oficialne sa pozerat na hviezdy … po chvile ako som nad nou lezal som ju nedokazal ani pobozkat … po cely cas som rozmyslal nad NOU … tato mozno bola fajn … ale nebola to ONA … teraz to asi trochu lutujem … mozno som sa mal premoct
Prologue
Although I thought that my last poem would remain my last
It seems to me that I cannot resent the past
Writing is a thing giving me the power I need
And who knows … maybe one day I will succeed
That day, lovelier than a sunrise could be, I’d remember forever
For you to give me one chance more I’d do whatever
… Hope you know it …
I know that forgetting and moving on is also a way
But I can’t …
I wanna give you a blood-red rose on a St. Valentines day
Wanna take you on a walk through our small park
Take you on a date ending with a huge spark
At last I’d give you a sweet goodnight kiss
The giving of which to you I really really miss
…
Remember that this is probably only a beta version … I might change or add something in the future …
TRANSLATION>>>
Hoci som myslel, ze moja posledna basen ostane mojou poslednou
Zda sa, ze nedokazem potlacat minulost
Pisanie je vec, ktora mi dava silu, ktoru potrebujem
A kto vie … mozno jedneho dna nakoniec uspejem
Ten den … krajsi ako vychod slnka moze byt, si na vzdy zapamatam
Urobil by som hocico aby si mi dala este jednu sancu
Dufam, ze to vies …
Viem, ze zabudnutie je tiez sposob…
Ale nedokazem to …
Tak rad by som ti dal krvavo cervenu ruzu na Valentina
Chcem ta zobrat na prechadzku do nasho maleho parku
Zobrat na rande konciace velkou iskrou
Na koniec by som TI dal bozk na dobru noc
Ktory TI tak velmi vzdy tuzim dat …
Announcement
Do you remember as I wrote here something about my new poem that’s on the way? … So I’ve got some news … I think that I will write more poems … ’cause at first I started to write about the things I miss about HER … then SHE called me and was at bad mood … afterwards I started to write about HER tears and the moments SHE cried … you know … so firstly I think that I will post here something like prologue … an introduction to a collection of Things I miss & Things I love :) … a beta version will be here very soon
TRANSLATION>>>
V minulosti som pisal, ze chystam novu basen, ale trochus a to zvrtlo – myslim, ze ich napisem viac … najprv som zacal pisat o veciach, ktore mi v spojitosti s NOU chybaju … potom mi zavolala a nemala moc dobru naladu … a tak som nasledne zacal pisat o JEJ slzach … chvilach ked plakala …a tak myslim, ze sem dam najprv akysi prolog … taky uvod do “zbierky” Things I miss & Things I love
Diary entry August 8 2007
Good night
Oh man … I fell happy … yeah definitely … I returned home from the visit of my family … and I’m glad that I’m finally home …
Moreover I spent a great evening with HER … When she took off the bus she usually comes from work I was there … standing with pizza and waiting for HER … SHE was surprised … but on the other hand looked happy … ’cause SHE is always hungry after a day spent at work
I was soooo happy that I saw her :) … later when we ate pizza SHE invited me to hers to have some cheese-cake that HER mother baked … I love it … She’s always been baking great cakes
Anyways … I really enjoyed this evening and I feel that I will go to bed with the smile on my face
TRANSLATION>>>
Som stastny … vratil som sa z navstevy rodiny a som rad, ze som konecne doma
Navyse som s NOU stravil skvely vecer … ked sa vratila z roboty, cakal som JU na stanici s pizzou … bola prekvapena a vyzerala stastna … stazovala sa mi totiz, ze vzdy je strasne hladna takto vecer
Hrozne rad som ju videl
…potom ma pozvala k NEJ na kolac … tvarohovy …co upiekla JEJ mum … mnam vzdy piekla skvele kolace
Quote No. 9,10
“Live life only for yourself, cause thats the only person who is going to be there at the end…”
I know that it sounds a bit selfish but it’s right … noone can live their lives for somebody else but them
I hope that I will learn this ”ability” to live my life for me … not mostly for HER - In fact this wouldn’t be a problem if the situation was different
_____________________________________________________________
“The truth of the matter is that you often know the right thing to do …
The hard part is doing it”
Right … isn’t it?
TRANSLATION>>>
“Zi svoj zivot iba kvoli sebe … pretoze to je jedina osoba ktora na koniec ostane”
Viem, ze to znie trochu sebecky ale nieco na tom bude … nikto by nemal zit svoj zivot pre niekoho ineho…
Dufam, ze sa to raz naucim aj ja – zit pre seba a nie hlavne pre NU … aj ked v podstate by mi to nevadilo, keby sme boli v inej situacii
“Podstata veci je, ze casto vies co je spravne urobit …
tazka cast je urobit to”
Announcement
A new poem is on the way and I hope that it’ll be finished by the end of next week
Diary entry July 29 2007
Good night
We were camping during this weekend :) … Me, HER and two other friends of ours.
We had a lot of fun … but somehow … I wish I could say more than this …
Nevertheless the weekend was great … so I should feel happy, shouldn’t I? … so what’s wrong with me?
I don’t know
TRANSLATION>>>
Boli sme na stanovacke cez weekend … Ja, ONA a dvaja dalsi priatelia … zazili sme kopec srandy …ale akosi … chcel by som povedat viac ako to …odhliadnuc od tohto pocitu bol weekend skvely … mal by som sa citit stastny nie? … co je to so mnou?
My thoughts
Look at the sky … Can you see the stars above? … I hope that you can … You can see them but they are so far away from you to touch them, aren’t they ?
But … Have you ever wanted to touch a star? … If so, you know that you choose the one you’d like to touch … and you just try …
Once you are successful you would find out what it means to be happy …
You hold your own star … but one day it becomes too hot for you to hold and you just let it go …
You let it return back to the place where it used to be … with a hope that you will forget one day …
But you won’t…
You will see this star every night … it’ll be standing out among the others … it’ll be shining … sort of brighter than ever before … and than you would regret releasing it … regret it because you will see it every night yet you can’t touch it as you used to …
TRANSLATION>>>
Pozri sa na hviezdy … vidis ich? … dufam, ze ano … Vidis ich, ale su prilis daleko na to, aby si sa ich mohla dotknut, vsak?
Ale … chcela si sa uz niekedy dotknut nejakej hviezdy? … Ak ano, tak vies, ze si niektoru vyberies … a skusis to
Raz ked sa ti to podari, zistis co znamena “byt stastny”
Drzis svoju hviezdu … ale jedneho dna sa ti bude zdat moc horuca na to aby si ju mohla drzat a tak ju nechas ist …
Nechas ju vratit tam, kde byvala … s nadejou, ze sa ti podari raz na nu zabudnut … ale nezabudnes
Budes ju vidavat kazdu noc … bude vycnievat medzi ostatnymi … bude svietit … viac ako kedykolvek predtym … a potom budes lutovat, ze si ju pusitla … lutovat, pretoze budes ju vidavat kazdu noc a predsa sa jej nebudes moct dotknut ako si zvykla …
Quote No.6,7,8
You know what I’m doing right now? … Reading this again and again and crying my eyes out … I hope that it will help me
“People so seldom say I love you. And when they finally do so it’s either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, it doesn’t mean I know you’ll never go, only that I wish you didn’t have to.”
______________________________________________
“Our lives are shaped by people who love us and people who refuse to love us”
______________________________________________
“Love is when you shed a tear and still want her, it’s when she ignores you and you still love her, it’s when she loves another boy but you still smile and say I’m happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”
TRANSLATION>>>
Viete co prave teraz robim? … citam si tieto citaty stale dookola a vyplakavam si oci … dufam, ze mi to aspon pomoze
“Ludia tak zriedka hovoria lubim ta. A ked to konecne povedia, je bud prilis neskoro alebo je laska uz prec. Tak ked TI poviem, ze ta lubim, neznamena to, ze viem, ze nikdy neodides, iba to , ze si prajem, aby si nemusela”
“Nase zivoty su formovane ludmi, ktori nas miluju a ludmi, ktori nas odmietaju milovat”
“Laska je, ked vyronis slzu a stale ju chces, je ked ta ignoruje a stale ju milujes, je to ked miluje ineho ale by sa stale usmievas a hovoris, ze sa tesis spolu s nou a pritom jedine co robis je places”
Opinion
I found somewhere how the phe perfect boy look like and behave :
A girl wants a boy
- whose eyelashes curl in just right
- who can wrestle with me and let me win
- who I can talk to about anything
- who laughs at my jokes
- who puts my cold hands in his warm hoodie pockets
- who lets me use his sweatshirt for a pillow
- who buys me 25 cent rings and sticky hands
- who says I love you and means it
- who on some days wears his glasses instead of contacts and feels perfectly fine
- who will kiss me in the rain, in the sunshine, and in the snow
- who calls unexpectantly at random times
- a boy who voice cracks sometimes and laughs it off
- who will have many inside jokes with me and remember each one
- a boy who notices girls haircuts
- who realizes that girls say things but don’t mean them
- who shows up at my games, slipping in the door
- who lets me say, that boy is so hot
- who I can go swimming with on hot days
- who can tell me his problems and let me help
- who will listen to me talk about the new nail polish I got
- who will bring me seashells from the beach
- who will let me beat him up when I get angry
who writes love letters to me but doesn’t send them - who draws pictures and slips them gently in my locker slot
- who saves his genuine, big smiles for me
- a boy with deep eyes that can see through faces into depths
- who wears baseball hats and lets me wear his too
- who gives me his tee-shirt to change into and not expect to get it back
- who knows my favorite color, song, car, vegetable, perfume, and the color of my toothbrush.
- a boy who will shake my daddys hand and look my mother in the eye
- who will call me by my full name, first, middle, and last.
- a boy who will kiss me
- and tell me I’m pretty
- who will let me cry to him
- who will squeeze my hips just right from behind
- who surprises me
- who compliments my manicure and plays with my hair
- who knows when I have a math test or when I fail one
- a boy who smells like he just stepped out of the shower
- who wears cologne that I can subtly smell when leaning on his shoulder
- who will play football with my little brother while I just stand there and giggle
- who will make me join in and play football and tackle me instead of just standing there and giggling
- who tells me I have a nice laugh and a smile that lights up the room and simply be mine to hold
And I’m sure that I can do most of this things for YOU … for noone else but YOU …
TRANSLATION>>>
Kdesi som nasiel ako by mal vyzerat dokonaly priatel
“Dievca hlada chlapca …
-ktoreho mihlanice sa krutia tak ako sa maju
-ktory bude s nou sutazit a necha ju vyhrat
-ktoremu moze povedat hocico
-ktory sa smeje na jej vtipoch
-ktory zohreje jej studene ruky
-ktory ju necha pouzit jeho sveter ako vankus
-ktory jej bude kupovat drobnosti len tak
-ktory jej povie, ze ju lubi a bude to mysliet uprimne
-ktory si niekedy da okuliare namiesto sosoviek a bude sa citit stale dobre
-ktory ju pobozka za dazda, pocas snezenia a aj za krasneho slnecneho dna
-ktory hocikedy necakane zavola
-ktoreho hlas obcas preskoci a on sa na tom len zasmeje
-ktory bude mat s nou vela spolocnych vtipov a spomienok na ktorych sa budu spolu smiat
-ktory si vsimne novy uces
-ktory vie ked ona nieco povie, ale nemysli to tak
-ktory sa ukaze na jej akciach aspon vo dverach
-ktory ju necha pochvalit ineho
-s ktorym si bude moct ist zaplavat v horucavach
-ktory sa jej zdoveri so svojimi problemami a necha ju aby mu pomohla
-ktory bude pocuvat ked mu bude hovorit o jej novom laku na nechty
-ktory jej prinesie musle z plaze
-ktory jej dovoli udriet ho ked sa bude na neho hnevat
-ktory pise lubostne listy, ale neposle ich
-ktory nakresli obrazok a nenapadne jej ho da do satne
-ktory si pre nu setri svoj velky pravy usmev
-s hlbokymi ocami, ktore vidia do vnutra druheho
-ktory nosi baseballovu capicu a necha ju nosit aj ju
-ktory jej da tricko na vymenu a necaka ho naspat
-ktory vie jej oblubenu farby, piesen, auto, zeleninu, parfum a farbu jej zubnej kefky
-ktory si poda ruku s jej otcom a vie sa pozriet jej matke do oci
-ktory ju pobozka
-a povie jej, ze je krasna
-ktory jej dovoli aby sa na nom vyplakala
-ktory ju zo zadu objime
-ktory ju prekvapi
-ktory pochvali jej manikuru a bude sa hrat s jej vlasmi
-ktory vie ked ma skusku z matiky, alebo z nejakej vyleti
-ktory vonia ako keby prave vysiel zo sprchy
-ktory pouziva vonavku, ktoru jemne citit ked sa opiera o jeho plece
-ktory sa zahra futbal s jej mladsim bratom zakial co tam bude stat a smiat sa
-ktory jej povei ze ma krasny smiech a usmev, ktory rozziari izbu a jednoducho bude jej
A ja viem, ze mozem, viem a chcem robit vacsinu z tychto veci pre TEBA … pre nikoho ineho okrem TEBA
Quote No. 4,5
I found this while searching the net and it made me sure that there is at least one person who knows what I’m going through …
“I never knew what I had until the first day it wasn’t there”
_____________________________________________________________
This is a quote from Sara Anne McLagan
“I can’t move on, because the only thing I can find wrong with you, is that you can find so much wrong with me”
TRANSLATION>>>
Nasiel som to ked som len tak surfoval a potesilo ma zistenie, ze existuje aspon jedna osoba, ktora vie cim prechadzam …
“Nikdy som nevedel co som mal, az do chvile, kym som o to neprisiel”
“Nemozem ist dalej, lebo jedina vec co mi na tebe vadi je ta, ze na mne dokazes najst tak vela chyb”
Quote No. 3
Days like the previous day has always made me think about the quote from Everwood
“I’m scared of who I am without you…”
TRANSLATION>>>
Dni ako vcerajsok ma vzdy nutia rozmyslat nad jednym citatom z Everwoodu
“Bojim sa toho cim som bez TEBA”
Diary entry July 24 2007
Good night
Today was a quite difficult day for me … I was with HER and another friend of ours near a water barrage to have some fun and sunbathe a bit …
The weather wasn’t so good and my mood wasn’t too … I thought that it would be fun but when I was there … lying next to HER … all of my memories connected with HER came up …
I know that the best thing for me would be to stay as far from HER as possible but
I’m afraid that it would be even harder ’cause HER presence makes me feel happy …
basically I feel happier than when I’m without HER …
I’ve tried to forget about HER many times but it was useless …
TRANSLATION>>>
Dnesok bol dost tazky … boli sme v Sutove … pocasie nebolo prave skvele a ani moja nalada … bol som cely cas akysi zamysleny …
Povodne som myslel, ze by mohlo byt fajn … ale ked som tam vedla NEJ lezat, zacali sa mi premietat s nou spojene situacie … spomienky
Viem, ze by pre mna bylo zrejme najlepsie drzat sa od NEJ co najdalej ale bojim sa, ze by to bolo este tazsie, kedze uz len jej pritomnost ma robi stastnym … resp. citim sa stastnejsie, ako ked musim byt bez NEJ
Uz vela krat som sa snazil na nu zabudnut … ale bolo to zbytocne …
Quote No. 2
This is a quote from Taking Back Sunday
I can say nothing more than this happens when a 15 y.o. boy gets scared … and then he regret it
“We were only 15
I let her go like paper air planes
How can I explain
That I’m lost without you around”
TRANSLATION>>>
Toto sa stane ked sa vystrasi 15 rocny chalan … a potom to vela krat olutuje
“Mali sme len 14
Nechal som JU odist ako papierove lietadlo
Ako TI mam teraz vysvetlit
Ze som bez TEBA strateny?”
Diary entry July 23 2007
Good evening …
Well this day was … sort of complicated … it could have been better but it wasn’t that bad
I spent a few hours with HER … we ate some pizza and had a lot of fun as usual … BUT
yeah everything must have some “but thing” … This time it was HER brother … he has been asking me so difficult questions … like ”Do U miss Hb(HER boyfriend)?” … omg
HER boyfriend is in UK for some time and HER brother wanted me to tell him when is Hb coming home …
WTF? … I would be glad if I knew nothing ’bout him … OK…it’s ok now…
To be honest … I like Hb … he’s a good guy but I can’t stand hearing something new ’bout him … you know … blah blah blah … You know … it’s hard for me
Moreover … the music that was playing when I was at HERs was ”Celtic songs” :( … I can’t even hear them anymore … everytime I have to listen to them I just wanna cry … It recalls memories that I want to remain forgotten…
Neverheless this day was quite good … at least I think that it was
TRANSLATION>>>
Dnesok bol akysi … komplikovany … mohol byt aj horsi… a v podstate nebol az taky zly
Stravil som s NOU par hodin … zjedli sme nejaku pizzu a fajn sa bavili … ALE
preco vsetko musi mat nejake ale? …tento raz to bol JEJ brat … pytal sa ma take otazky, na ktore sa mi neodpovedalo prave lahko … napr. ci mi chyba JEJ priatel …kedy sa vrati z UK a pod.
Problem je, ze najradsej by som o nom nevedel uz nic viac, ako viem …
Navyse ked som bol u nej tak hrali Celtic songs … uz ich nedokazem pocuvat … pri nich sa mi vybavuju spomienky, na ktore by som mal radsej zabudnut …
Ale den som mal v podstate celkom dobry
Quote No. 1
This is a quote from One Tree Hill
It could be hard for a person who’s not in love to concede this but all of the people who are … are used to this feeling …
“There are 6,470,818,671 people in the world.
Some are running scared.
Some are coming home.
Some tell lies to make it through the day.
Others are just now facing the truth.
Some are evil men, at war with good.
And some are good, struggling with evil.
6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls, and all you need is one”
TRANSLATION>>>
Mozno je tazke pre osobu, ktora nieje zamilovana toto pripustit, ale ti, ktori su, to poznaju …
“Na svete je 6.470.818.671 ludi
niektori vystrasene pobehuju
niektori prichadzaju domov
niektori klamu a ziju si takym sposobom svoj den
ini prave teraz musia celit pravde
niektori su zli, vo vojne s dobrom
niekori su dobri, bojujuci so zlom
6 miliard ludi na svete, 6 miliard dusi a vsetko co potrebujes je len jedna”
Rules
1. All poems (as well as “poems” ) are copyrighted => If you wanna use them somewhere please ask me first
2. Quotes are quotes because they are quoted => If you wanna use them somewhere as a quote copy them correctly
That’s all for now …
Addition ;)
Well … I’ve decided to add here my DIARY … yop … I hope that I won’t be too lazy to write it O:-)
EDIT:// I think that I will also post here lyrics of the song I love
TRANSLATION>>>
Rozhodol som sa sem pridat aj moj dennik … dufam, ze nebudem prilis lenivy, aby som ho pisal
EDIT:// myslim, ze sem budem davat aj texty songov, ktore mam rad
Roses
Roses … aren’t they beautiful?
I love them … as well as SHE does (at least I hope that SHE does) :) … Click
TRANSLATION>>>
Ruze … no niesu krasne?
mam ich velmi rad … a aj ONA (teda aspon dufam)
No.1 … A Feeling
My inspiration for writing this was HER … sitting in front of me in the restaurant…
This poem depicts my feelings when I saw HER … maybe it’s a bit weird but my thaughts at that momet were just like this …
A Feeling
I wanna be far away from you and hold you in my arms at the same time
Kissing your lips would be considered a crime
For hearing you breathe I’d be sentenced to death
But I would fight ’till my last breath
Every glance I take is killing me
But I know that’s the only place where I wanna be
I think I’m in love…
In the pourest…
Like the whitest dove
TRANSLATION>>>
Inspiraciou na napisanie tejto basne mi bola ONA … ked predo mnou sedela v restauracii (Reine)
Opisuje moje pocity, ked som ju tam videl sediet … mozno sa to moze zdat divne, ale citil som to presne takto
“\_WELCOME_/”
Welcome to my blog
I wanted to have a place that would be dedicated mostly to HER…probably SHE will never see this blog of mine, but it doesn’t matter …
Who knows … maybe one day I will write here my story …
Well…we’ll see what will be on this site in the end
ENJOY YOUR STAY ;)
________________________________________________________________________
PS: I’m not a native speaker so I’d appreciate your benevolence … also if you find some mistakes here please report ‘em
TRANSLATION>>>
Vitaj na mojom blogu
Chcel som mat miesto, ktore by bolo zasvatene hlavne JEJ … asi ho nikdy neuvidi, ale na tom nezalezi
Kto vie … mozno raz sem napisem aj moj pribeh
Uvidime co v konecnom dosledku bude na tejto stranke
